A friend of mine recently entered her thirties and expressed that she was worried about feeling old to which I say poppycock. To the contrary I think for most people their thirties are when they actually hit their prime. Like that period for an athlete when the mental part of his game finally catches up to his physical abilities and he takes his game to the next level. At least that's how I see my thirties. I mean think about it, if you knew what you knew now in high school or college chances are you would've been unstoppable. Sure your video game skills might've suffered but I'm guessing that most of us would've been willing to make that sacrifice. The weird thing is that it's actually athletes that have made being in your thirties seem old. I mean for chrissakes a running back in his thirties these days is like a fifty year old divorcee at a frat bar because neither one of them are scoring. But for most of us turning thirty is just one big wake up call. I mean when you're in your twenties you've got all the time in the world to take that backpacking trip through Europe, but once you hit thirty it's like an alarm goes off and all of the sudden you're on the clock and the clock is ticking. All of the sudden all those big dreams need to start happening and that magical money tree (sponsored by Visa) needs to start being paid off. On the other hand if you're actually one of those people that has your shit together and your future in tact let me just say you missed one hell of a party. Oh sure you've probably got a nice house, great kids and a brand new Harley sitting in your garage but what are those compared to all the hangovers, one night stands and shopping sprees that you missed out on in your twenties. Unfortunately that's the thing about being thirty is that you actually see the folly of your ways. Perhaps it's the metamorphosis of changing from the grasshopper to the ant that happens at midnight of the three hundred and sixty fifth day of your twenty ninth year or…or maybe it's just Friday, I'm hung-over and don't feel like being at work. Either way I'm guess the point that I'm getting at is that don't ever sweat your age when you could be sweating more important stuff like, if there's enough room on your gas card to get Beer and Pringles.

Random thoughts-

Any grocer that can charge $12.00 for a SIX PACK of anything that's not the blood of Christ should be forced to register as a sexual predator because he's raping the public.

Last Nights open Mic-

I went to an open mic last night and had to follow a guy that got NAKED on stage, then proceeded to tell two minutes worth of crappy one-liners and closed it out with three pages of poetry from his grandmother's diary! Here's the kicker, after the show, after I bombed he was outside of the club handing out flyers to his new show on Tuesday nights. Are you kidding me?! Nudity and comedy go together like sardines and molasses. I mean if I see some dude naked I'm pretty much going to spend the rest of the time looking at my shoes and not laughing. And if I see a naked chick on stage, well who's got time to listen when there's hooties in your face! My biggest problem with stage nudity is that it's NEVER anyone that you want to see naked! It's always some nasty dude or some past her prime, it's never someone like Jessica Alba dropping in to do some spoken word in the buff. Still though the naked dude wasn't the weirdest thing I've ever seen at an open mic it's possibly a distant third…

2. I've seen a fist fight on stage before because some drunk bitch was heckling a comic and her boyfriend didn't like what the comic had to say about her…virtue. The fight was a draw but the sight of actually seeing an audience member rush the stage and get punched in the face was priceless!

1. I saw a HORRIBLY unfunny comic piss in a cup and drink it at an open mic. I'm not saying it was funny or that I enjoyed it but it was definitely the weirdest thing I've ever seen on stage at an open mic.