Rocky One and Two
After watching Rocky I and II this weekend I realized that aside from a great script and some decent acting the fight is complete and utter bullshit. Don't get me wrong I'll watch it every time it comes on cable (just ask my wife) but anyone who knows a thing or two about boxing can pick apart the final scene like two piece dinner at KFC. Ummm fried chicken. So here they are…
1. Rocky's knock down of Creed in the early rounds: Now I've seen a bunch of knockdowns and have even had my bell rung a few times and can honestly tell you there's no way in hell Creed gets back up after taking one right on the chin. Sure you can tell me that it was a flash knockdown but watch the fight again and you'll see that at first Creed acts like he's been kicked in the face by a mule and then all of the sudden he pops up like a fresh piece of toast. No way.
2. The TKO factor. Okay watch both fights again and you'll see there are about three instances in which any competent referee would've stopped the fight due to one of the fighters not being able to answer punches. Had Richard Steele been refereeing either fight it would've over the first time Creed got Rocko on the ropes. And don't think that Creed couldn't have had the fight stopped on him either because there were a couple of instances where it could've happened. Not to mention after Rock gets knocked down for about the 15,000th time no one thinks he's had too much. Nope just wipe those gloves and send him back in there. I've seen more mercy in dogfights.
3. The energy in the final round just amazes me. Just watch some of the old fights on ESPN Classic and you'll see that the 15th round usually has more hugging than a rapper at a family reunion. Note: if you didn't get that last reference, rent 8 mile and watch any scene where rappers meet each other and then return to this column. Anyway both fighters stagger out to the center of the ring to meet and all of the sudden Balboa slips a cross and starts unleashing body shots like he just hopped out of the shower. BULLSHIT. No way his punches are going to be that crisp after getting his ass beat for 15 rounds.
Silk Boxers:
Don't worry I'm not about to go into detail about a romantic evening with the misses, no I'm wearing silk boxers because it's laundry day. It was that or I'd be as they say, "Going commando…" So I put on the sexy drawers and headed out the door and didn't make it five steps before they gently made there way up my ass. I think there's been about ten actual minutes that I've been comfortable all day. Now I know why women never ever wear lingerie underneath their regular clothes and if they do watch them because they must be some kind masochist.
Ricky Williams
When I first heard about Ricky's retirement I must admit that I was a bit sad. I mean I've watched and cheered for him for four years at UT and then even cheered for him when he went to the NFL. He was a great player and could've been one of the best running backs in the league had he just stuck it out. Here's the thing though, he totally sold out his teammates and his fans when he retired from the Dolphins. I understand that he didn't want to play anymore, I even respect it, but by waiting until just ONE week before training camp opened to announce his retirement he gave the Dolphins have absolutely NO chance to replace him with a quality free agent. None whatsoever, so now the Dolphins are going to have to limp through the season on the legs of Travis Minor, make up a bunch of excuses about how this is a team sport when they miss the playoffs and then explain that it was just time for a change when they fire Dave Wannstedt. All because Ricky wants to hang out with Lenny Kravitz, smoke weed and travel. Don't get me wrong that sounds like a blast but not at the expense of selling out everyone that helped you get where you are today. I more unselfish person might've waited until the end of the season or announced his retirement at the before free agency started but not Ricky, he was too busy having a good time. Now as bad as all of that is Ricky wasn't done yet, as a thank you for all of the money he earned over the past couple of years and the friendships that were built Rick decided to tell EVERYONE how he not only smoked weed, but HOW he beat the NFL drug tests at the same time! Not only did he leave the league with a black eye but he also outted about half the NFL (because that's about how many players smoke weed) at the same time. Bravo Rick. I hope you find peace in solitude in your new life as a world traveler.
Sex and Sports
I was reading a column the other day, gathering knowledge for my upcoming fantasy football draft and one of the writers said that "LaDamian Tomlinson was a sexy pick because he's a rushing threat that can be used as a receiver on third down." Well, while this is true I just don't see the need to use the word "SEXY" when describing a fantasy football pick or even a draft pick for that matter. I mean let's be honest unless you're talking about the choice (or lack thereof) of bikini's in the SI swimsuit issue, a female tennis player, or a WNBA player's little sister, the word sexy should never used in a sports conversation. If you're gay fine, admire the athletes all you want just don't ever use the word sexy when you're talking about their performance on the field. Uggh.
Shaqpac
Now that the Lakers dynasty is over and Shaq and Kobe are officially allowed to hate each other, how cool would it be to actually play off of that? I mean we all know that Shaq is a shitty rapper but I for one would be willing to buy one of his albums if it was nothing but 15 tracks of dissing Kobe and Jerry Buss. I remember how excited I was when 2pac got out of prison and came out with the best revenge album EVER! So just imagine the possibilities of a Shaq album! He could get Two Live Crew together again for a track about the Kobe rape trial. Team up w/ Nelly for a party jam about the beach parties at Shaq's new mansion. Then jet up to New York to drop a duet with 50 cent on how Jerry Buss is a b*tch. You can't tell me that this record wouldn't go platinum! I mean even if it was bad, it would still be hilarious! Someone get Dr. Dre on the line!
